Had to sell the van I bought back in January the other day (long story short the bitch I bought it off of lied about a bunch of shit that was wrong with the van). But I went to Illinois today & bought another car. It’s awesome. Have to go transfer my plates tomorrow. \m/
I had a talk with my ex.. That talk really helped with closure & put things into perspective. I feel like a lot of weight has been lifted. I am going to have to take things one day at a time, but I know this decision is for the best. I can now focus on myself & find the happiness I seek. I am going to be alright.
& realizing I need to just change some shit for the better. I’ve got to stop over analyzing everything & just chill out to enjoy life.
Starting now breh~ \m/
So it’s been a little over a week since my brother got married. He’s still not told me about it/bothered to bring it up to me. Two days ago he announced it on his facebook.. but has neglected to mention/bring it up to me directly. The last couple of weeks he’s been basically not talking to me or when he does have to talk to me he’s being a complete douche.. for no reason. I have no idea what I’ve done. I’ve always been there for him. I love my brother to death..so all of this bullshit is really confusing. He’s suppose to be this “love god and he will give you everything you need/’respect’ other people” type of person. Yet treats me, his own blood, like garbage & completely shuts me out. For NO fucking reason.
Here’s a funny bit from his facebook:
His Friend: Congrats my dude I’m tryna find a wife myself
My Brother: bro i didnt look for her i look to God and he sent me her . you stay focus on him he will give you everthing you need.
I guess staying focused on “god” causes you to act like a dick. I find it funny that we were brought up in the same household… yet grew up to be two very different people. I think his views/faith are illogical & he doesn’t always practice what he preaches. My mother believes/has faith in God.. but shes always been an open/logical person. My brother didn’t seem to pick up on that. I seem to have always been the black sheep of my family. All of my views, things that I am into, morals etc, are completely different from my family. So there’s always been that issue with my family.
At this point there is so much personal bullshit going on my life (other shit not involving my brother issues) that I can’t seem to talk to anyone about. I am just going to say fuck it all. I am tired of trying, caring & stressing myself out with this bullshit.
If the people in my life can’t start to show a little appreciation/respect to me. I am cutting everyone out.
I asked, “who is it”. No one replied. Then I hear a lady say, “We would just like to leave an invitation and surprise here at your door.” I say, “one sec.” (I needed to throw on some pants. I was only in boxers lol.) I go to open the door, there was no one there. Then I see a little pamphlet fall from my screen door. It was one of those, “Do you love Jesus?” things…I instantly thought… -_- great. So I grabbed the pamphlet and went down the street chasing these people who left it on my door. I finally caught up to them… and said, “Here’s your nice little ‘surprise’ you left on my door. You said a surprise, what I see is false advertisement. Stop giving false hope & please never leave things like this at my door. Have a great day!”
My brother was there too…He teaches a dance class there.
Anyways.. I see my mom & brother.
My brother walks up to me & says, “Do you need some change?”
I was confused for a second.. I am like what?? I don’t have any change I think I got some singles in my wallet. He then says, “Naw man your hair is really long, you’re wearing your beanie with your hair pushed back & your beard/mustache… Man I thought you were homeless. I was gonna say I got some change for you. HAHAH”
Me: FUCK YOU. hahaha.
lol. I guess I am rocking that Colin Farrell homeless man look.
Some of you are ruining really great songs. Now there are some mixtapes I’ve heard on here that sound pretty decent. But some of these sound like shit.
My advice would be to completely stop what you are doing until you have a true understanding of musical composition. Otherwise you are just producing garbage.
So my best friend came over tonight & wanted me to do one of my edits for him. This is what he wanted. Turned out pretty cool. Spent 3 hours on it. Oh yeah.. he also happens to be rocking one of my Destroyer shirts hahah.
I don’t want to look at photoshop anymore tonight. lol.
I’ve been trying to reply back to people for 2 days now.. I keep getting errors. Sorry if I haven’t replied/responded.
It’s also been hard getting back to people since I’ve been going out more. I’ve been doing so much running around/hanging out with friends… so I haven’t been coming on much.
Having a social life lately is pretty cool… but I am still not feeling it. I just want to stay inside, watch my shows, draw & chill. Blah.
It’s been around 10 months now since I moved into my place. I still haven’t put shit on my walls. So today my goal was to find decent posters.
I ended up with:
Huge Walking Dead Poster
Huge Dexter Poster
I plan on just designing some posters for the rest of the tv shows I like & having them framed. I also got these 2 rubber bracelets one says “Nasty Bitch” & the other says “Loves The Cock”. I also got a Walking Dead shirt as well as another random shirt.
Good day. Spent 5 hours walking around shopping… Does that burn calories? lol..
I bought a van a week or 2 ago. It’s a soccer mom van. I got it dirt cheap from my moms friend. It runs pretty decent, I just have to take it to get an oil change or whatever. I also went to finally get it registered today. Fuck yeah.
This is some photo I found online. I couldn’t take a photo because I don’t have a camera anymore… but this is what it looks like.
Mom van swag.
Only time friends really want to engage in conversation with me/hit me up is to get me to do something for them. (Mainly because I draw, design, do web design work etc.) It honestly doesn’t bother me most of the time. On rare occasions it does. Those times that it does bother me…it sucks.
I don’t have a lot to offer as a friend. But you know.. it’d be nice to talk/hang out & not have my artsy/web abilities be the main focus of talking to me.
I am giving up pizza for a while both frozen & from local pizza places. Also giving up junk food, fast food, Sunny D & Arizona drinks. =/
Did groceries tonight.. bought tons of healthy foods. Planning out daily exercises & all this other shit to lose more weight.
Going to try my hardest to stick with this.
I might be a little grouchy for a while. lol.
43” tv for our living room. Fucking beautiful. Now the other 32” tv can go in our bedroom. Win/win.
I just wanted to thank everyone who has been helping me by supporting my clothing line. Everyone who’s reblogged/liked/bought a tee.. etc. I really appreciate it.
Doing this clothing line really means a lot to me. I love that feeling I get when people wear/buy clothing with my art on it. It seriously is one of the best feelings in the world. I started Inhuman thinking no one would give a shit.. but with the overwhelming number of people showing support I am shocked & thankful. I’ve sold out of a lot of tees & have so much good feedback. It’s so overwhelming but awesome!
I plan to do a lot of cool stuff for Inhuman, I will continue it for as long as I can. I hope you guys enjoy/are excited for the future things to come.
Again, THANK YOU!