My birthday was overall pretty decent. My moms bought me a new bed. Which is suppose to arrive today. I’ve been sleeping on a futon mattress. -_- Totally thankful for that. I went & got a tattoo. Next Tuesday I am getting another one. I went out to the bar… people were buying me drinks left & right. HOLY FUCK. My body is fucking hurting right now. I was chugging 151, gin & tonics, jager bomb’s… basically anything people got me.. I was drinking it. lol. I was definitely smashed. The night also ended pretty awesome with a nice cuddle sesh. \m/ Pretty cool 25th birthday.
First birthday though I didn’t have a cake. Which is ok.
Places I am looking to possibly move to:
- D.C. (or somewhere on the east coast)
- Texas (one of the major cities probably Austin.)
- Florida (If I go to school..the city where the school is.)
Still debating shit.
Made a new friend tonight!
There was this dude I knew from way back when. He was actually a friend of my brothers. But turns out dude is gay & really chill. We hung out (not anything sexual) just 2 friends hanging out. We drove around, walked around by the lake & talked. It was awesome just hanging out with someone and talking about whatever. We are probably hanging out tomorrow. Not sure. But at least I’ve got a new friend. lol.
Pretty cool night.
So here’s the deal..
There is nothing holding me down in Wisconsin anymore. Aside from family.. but I’ve got to make some more drastic changes in my life. The one thing that has been on my mind constantly is moving away from here.
I want to move out of state. Away from the Midwest. I just don’t know how I would even begin to do anything like this. I’ve lived in Wisconsin pretty much my entire life. I’ve toured/traveled a lot around the US when I was in my band. I could choose anywhere I want to go… it’s a liberating feeling but it also sucks because I am not THAT close to other people anywhere else outside of Wisconsin.
I want to make this happen. Somehow.
So I got a new car today.
Had to sell the van I bought back in January the other day (long story short the bitch I bought it off of lied about a bunch of shit that was wrong with the van). But I went to Illinois today & bought another car. It’s awesome. Have to go transfer my plates tomorrow. \m/
Taking a step back to really look at myself…
& realizing I need to just change some shit for the better. I’ve got to stop over analyzing everything & just chill out to enjoy life.
Starting now breh~ \m/
So it’s been a little over a week since my brother got married. He’s still not told me about it/bothered to bring it up to me. Two days ago he announced it on his facebook.. but has neglected to mention/bring it up to me directly. The last couple of weeks he’s been basically not talking to me or when he does have to talk to me he’s being a complete douche.. for no reason. I have no idea what I’ve done. I’ve always been there for him. I love my brother to death..so all of this bullshit is really confusing. He’s suppose to be this “love god and he will give you everything you need/’respect’ other people” type of person. Yet treats me, his own blood, like garbage & completely shuts me out. For NO fucking reason.
Here’s a funny bit from his facebook:
His Friend: Congrats my dude I’m tryna find a wife myself
My Brother: bro i didnt look for her i look to God and he sent me her . you stay focus on him he will give you everthing you need.
I guess staying focused on “god” causes you to act like a dick. I find it funny that we were brought up in the same household… yet grew up to be two very different people. I think his views/faith are illogical & he doesn’t always practice what he preaches. My mother believes/has faith in God.. but shes always been an open/logical person. My brother didn’t seem to pick up on that. I seem to have always been the black sheep of my family. All of my views, things that I am into, morals etc, are completely different from my family. So there’s always been that issue with my family.
At this point there is so much personal bullshit going on my life (other shit not involving my brother issues) that I can’t seem to talk to anyone about. I am just going to say fuck it all. I am tired of trying, caring & stressing myself out with this bullshit.
If the people in my life can’t start to show a little appreciation/respect to me. I am cutting everyone out.
So I just heard a knock at my door…
I asked, “who is it”. No one replied. Then I hear a lady say, “We would just like to leave an invitation and surprise here at your door.” I say, “one sec.” (I needed to throw on some pants. I was only in boxers lol.) I go to open the door, there was no one there. Then I see a little pamphlet fall from my screen door. It was one of those, “Do you love Jesus?” things…I instantly thought… -_- great. So I grabbed the pamphlet and went down the street chasing these people who left it on my door. I finally caught up to them… and said, “Here’s your nice little ‘surprise’ you left on my door. You said a surprise, what I see is false advertisement. Stop giving false hope & please never leave things like this at my door. Have a great day!”
ok so I went to see my mom at work today..
My brother was there too…He teaches a dance class there.
Anyways.. I see my mom & brother.
My brother walks up to me & says, “Do you need some change?”
I was confused for a second.. I am like what?? I don’t have any change I think I got some singles in my wallet. He then says, “Naw man your hair is really long, you’re wearing your beanie with your hair pushed back & your beard/mustache… Man I thought you were homeless. I was gonna say I got some change for you. HAHAH”
Me: FUCK YOU. hahaha.
lol. I guess I am rocking that Colin Farrell homeless man look.
Some of these “mixtapes” people do on here..
Some of you are ruining really great songs. Now there are some mixtapes I’ve heard on here that sound pretty decent. But some of these sound like shit.
My advice would be to completely stop what you are doing until you have a true understanding of musical composition. Otherwise you are just producing garbage.