So I’ve never been one to be that comfortable with my body/how I look. I love my personality & who I am… but lately my confidence has been high. Even with being the fat guy.. I like myself a lot more than I did a few months ago. I’ve got some things I want to change for myself. I am working on it. It feels good.
There’s a lot of bullshit going on in my life.. but this whole self confidence thing is making up for all the bs.
- Move away from Wisconsin.
- Meet the people I’ve been friends with online finally.
- Lose more weight (20lbs down since May. At least 60 more lbs to go.)
- Get more tattoos.
- Be happy.
Why do people lie? Even about the simplest things? I am not trying to say I never lie. I do. But when it comes to small things or just being upfront with another person. I’ve always just been truthful about bullshit. Get some balls & man up to shit. People want me to trust them..but give me every reason not to trust them.
This is why I don’t trust people.
Yesterday I got my other leg tattooed. It’s my zombie jesus drawing. I just got the outline done. June 15th I go back to get things detailed/colored for both of my leg pieces. Stoked.
My best friend of 14 years is going to California for a month… We’ve not been apart for that amount of time in so long. It’s going to be weird. =/
I need more friends.
My birthday was overall pretty decent. My moms bought me a new bed. Which is suppose to arrive today. I’ve been sleeping on a futon mattress. -_- Totally thankful for that. I went & got a tattoo. Next Tuesday I am getting another one. I went out to the bar… people were buying me drinks left & right. HOLY FUCK. My body is fucking hurting right now. I was chugging 151, gin & tonics, jager bomb’s… basically anything people got me.. I was drinking it. lol. I was definitely smashed. The night also ended pretty awesome with a nice cuddle sesh. \m/ Pretty cool 25th birthday.
First birthday though I didn’t have a cake. Which is ok.
I got my first tattoo today for my birthday. It’s a decrepit Virgin Mary with a Glasgow smile. I have to go back for another session to get color. This is on my left shin. Next Tuesday I am getting another on my right shin but of that zombie jesus I drew.
This was definitely a painful yet pleasing experience. I finally have my first fucking tattoo. FINALLY! So happy right now.
Still debating shit.
There was this dude I knew from way back when. He was actually a friend of my brothers. But turns out dude is gay & really chill. We hung out (not anything sexual) just 2 friends hanging out. We drove around, walked around by the lake & talked. It was awesome just hanging out with someone and talking about whatever. We are probably hanging out tomorrow. Not sure. But at least I’ve got a new friend. lol.
Pretty cool night.
MY BEST FRIEND GOT MY DRAWING TATTOOED ON HIM! OMG!!! I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW. HOLY SHIT!!!!!
I seriously want to cry right now. holy fuck.
There is nothing holding me down in Wisconsin anymore. Aside from family.. but I’ve got to make some more drastic changes in my life. The one thing that has been on my mind constantly is moving away from here.
I want to move out of state. Away from the Midwest. I just don’t know how I would even begin to do anything like this. I’ve lived in Wisconsin pretty much my entire life. I’ve toured/traveled a lot around the US when I was in my band. I could choose anywhere I want to go… it’s a liberating feeling but it also sucks because I am not THAT close to other people anywhere else outside of Wisconsin.
I want to make this happen. Somehow.