So my boyfriend is out of town to visit family for thanksgiving. It sucks. I miss my baby bear. It is our first thanksgiving together but we plan to celebrate our own special thanksgiving when he’s back.
I wish I could put what I feel into words. But words aren’t enough. I fell in love with the most amazing person I’ve ever had the honor to know. I love this butthead so much. It’s been barely 6 hours since you left & I already miss you. lol. I don’t give a fuck. I can’t wait to see him in a couple days. I love you Guy.
Tumblr use to be a place for me to go to escape. I’ve learned about a lot of stuff on here… gained some really cool friends & a lot of other things. It was fun, enjoyable & almost therapeutic. Tumblr has been stripped of all of that for me. Certain things I see on here now piss me off, make me depressed or really irritate the shit out of me. I have a lot of regret for things I wish I never posted. It bums me out a lot. I’m not a very social person.. tumblr was my source, my escape, my refuge when I didn’t want to be bothered with the bullshit of life. I hope the good I got from being on here returns. I need it.
I’m highly considering just deleting my account.
Do you know what it feels like to have cops, paramedics & other people be in complete awe/shock that you are alive after a bad accident? The way my car hit the tree… we should be dead but those seat belts saved our lives… but even then my car was so fucked & crushed… everyone’s shocked we made it. This is all sinking in still. I am so thankful & happy my boyfriend & I are alive.
These past few months have been some of the most memorable/best times of my life. It’s only getting better. I met an amazing human being who I am honored to call my boyfriend & my best friend. Since meeting him I’ve quit smoking. I’ve cut down on drinking. I’ve been learning so much about myself, gaining some wisdom & growing into what I hope is a better version of myself. I’ve also been conquering a lot of my fears I’ve harbored over the years. I never thought I’d be able to experience a lot of the feelings & things I’ve had recently… All I can say is I am extremely thankful for having someone truly special who I connect with like no other person in my life as well as all of the opportunities to learn, grow & better myself. This happiness in addition to the happiness I already had is awesome. I love you Guy.
I’m on this mini-vacation up north with the bf. It’s been going awesome! Last night we were watching a meteor shower & sitting on this beautiful lake… Quite the experience. I went on a boat for the first time today. I also went fishing for the first time. It’s been so romantic & fun as hell. Never thought I’d experience stuff like this. I am really thankful.
This fall/winter I am planning on taking a road trip for the fuck of it. (saving up & getting new tires/tune up for my car) I wonder who of my internet friends I will get to meet/who would want to finally meet me? I wonder how awkward it would be… Thinking about this is getting me excited.
I’ll have booze, blunts & pizza to break the ice doe. wassup.
A lot of people I’ve dated in the past have ruined how I handle things now. With all the bullshit I’ve been through.. everything is a trigger for me it seems these days. I realized I can no longer place that blame on anyone but myself for letting it happen. It’s up to me to get out of this & not let these feelings get the best of me.
Eventually I will get past this for sure. For now.. I want to sulk.
My mom gave me a hug this morning. She goes on to say, “I can wrap my arms around you now.” Because of the weight I’ve been losing.
I really needed that. Brightened up this dull day a little.
More power to people wanting to rock their “natural hair”. That’s awesome! You do you. But don’t make other people feel bad because they want to style/do their hair the way they want. Believe it or not some people do their hair for themselves not because they are ashamed of who they are/where they come from. Get the fuck out. I will do all the hair dye, flat ironing I want to my hair.. because I do it for ME. Period. lol.