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My first week of college is complete!

With the amount of walking I am doing around the campus I better drop like 10-30lbs a semester. This shit is intense. Going from a stagnant relaxed lifestyle to constantly on the move & doing shit… it is really overwhelming. I will admit any moment I had to myself… I broke down. I’m going to keep doing it & see how I feel about this lifestyle in December. Glad I have the support of my boyfriend. He is helping me through this a lot.

At least I have this weekend to rest.

I NEED YOUR HELP! (Reblog if you can?)
I will make this simple & to the point. I start college next week for the first time. It’s been 10 years since I’ve been in any sort of school environment. I am doing this whole thing by myself with no financial help from family or anyone else.

So lets be honest! I am broke & I need some money. I AM OPEN FOR COMMISSIONED WORK! Figured I could put my artistic ability to use to earn some cash so I can get a few things I need for school. Your are welcomed to donate but I would much rather work for it. 

To inquire about pricing or if you need to know more information feel free to contact me via tumblr: click here.

Thank you for your time & thank you to anyone who helps. I appreciate it. THANK YOU!!

College Advice? Help?

So I am freaking out right now! I start college for the first time NEXT FUCKING WEEK. I haven’t been in school for 10 years. I think I am on the verge of a panic attack. ugh.

Money SUCKS! I am in a shit position. I am broke as fuck right now. I haven’t been able to buy any school supplies/things I need. I don’t even money for dumb shit like back to school clothes/back pack/etc. I have no one helping me out. I’ve asked family but no one is able to help. I am doing this all myself. It’s really stressing me out & a bit depressing. =/

I was thinking of putting together a post for you guys to help me out/reblog. It would basically advertise me taking on commissions to do portraits/illustrations of you/whomever you want.

Also… I guess any advice you have to offer I AM ALL EARS RIGHT NOW.

I just need help & the internet is the only place I can turn to. 

Man some of you anonymous hate people say some really vile shit. All because you have that little bit of power to say whatever you want without having to worry of receiving any repercussions. That is so weak & pathetic.

Clearly you’ve got issues you need to work on. Just because someone says the truth & it leaves you butthurt doesn’t mean you need to say dumb hurtful shit. 

Acknowledge the truth. Accept it. Better yourself.

Random Memory

I remember being 11 years old at the time that Brandy/Monica song came out, “The Boy Is Mine”. I remember drinking Nesquik Strawberry Milk almost everyday, being in my families old neighborhood full of cute Puerto Rican boys/Black boys, listening to that song repeatedly on my walkman & thinking those boys were mine. 


So I had this done today. I will explain why…

I’ve kept this part of myself very hidden. Even from people closest to me. I don’t want to hide it anymore. I’ve told a few people over the years but I usually kept it to myself & never talked about it. I suffer from bipolar disorder (aka manic depression) as well as panic/anxiety disorder. I’ve been struggling with this for most of my life. It’s been a really tough fight & has only gotten harder. I have moments of happiness but they never last too long. My mood shifts so dramatically without warning. I will often shut down & become very cold to anyone around me. I will stay in a depressed & very reclusive state for weeks at a time never leaving my room & cutting off all communication with people. Even simple things like going out in public, going to a store or being around any number of people will drive me into a panic. I have a constant paranoid & negative outlook on the world. Maintaining any sort of intimate relationship has been really difficult. I have moments that get so unbearable that my mind only displays one option.. suicide. I have attempted to end my life on several occasions. I could go on for days of all the “wrong” things I have going on in my head… But I will stop there.

I just wanted to finally open up about this. It’s gotten pretty bad in my head lately. My strength & will to fight have been low but not completely gone. I am openly letting this out because I hope it helps someone who is going through what I am & lets them know they are not alone. From my experience having at least 1 person give a shit meant the world to me. I am lucky to have the boyfriend that I do. Even though it is difficult he continues to be understanding & do the best he can to help. Same for my friends… especially trae & a few others. Thank you guys for being there.

In closing….this tattoo is a reminder to myself to keep breathing & keep fighting. I will do my best to keep doing both.


I can’t donate. I can’t physically be there to help. I can’t really do shit. But what i can do is spread useful information & truth to nearly 25,000 people following me. If you have anything else that I can reblog with information to help inform & possibly help save lives for future incidents with the bullshit these police are doing… please link me to it! 

I’ve lost over 200+ followers this morning from the last few things I reblogged. That lets me know the type of people some of you are.

My old band is reuniting for one night for fun. I am so excited for this.

I’m horngry.

I don’t feel like fappin & my boyfriends up north. There’s nothing to really eat… so I’ve filled my stomach up with popsicles.

This combination sucks. I feel like I am going hulk out at any moment.

I want to thank all of you.

For following me, putting up with my nonsense & all that fun shit. Also big thank you to those who have been supporting me & my endeavors over the years. I really mean that. I am such an introvert… tumblr is really my main source for fun, entertainment & socializing. I know this is just some dumb website to some of you. But to me its a little more. Thank you so much.

Exodus | Prince of Egypt

I’m sure you’ve all seen people bitching about this right? The new film Exodus is basically white washing the story of Moses. Everything from the actors being white men/women to even the sphinx’s statue being changed to have European features. So there’s a big uproar about this. I am on that side…. sorta. 

Some of these same people are saying the animated film Prince of Egypt was better/more accurate in the portrayal of Moses/the story. I will admit Prince of Egypt happens to be one of my favorite animated films of all time… I love it. It did a good job with the story.. but I think these people keep forgetting/don’t realize that…

NEARLY ALL OF THE VOICE ACTORS OF THAT FILM WERE WHITE. With the exception of Danny Glover & James Avery.


Let shit go

This is a message to myself & others like me. Holding on to shit & letting fear take over will bring nothing good into your life. The more you hold onto the bullshit the more you set yourself up for faliure, disappointment & sadness. Holding onto this shit can really prevent potential happiness & good things from coming into your life.

I usually give vague details of my life on here only out of fear of judgements & sometimes I flat out lie about how great things are in my life just so I can have a false sense of feeling good. Fear & holding onto shit is ruining me. I will not let it do this anymore. I’m tired of it. It’s time to change.

To be honest…. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to my boyfriend lately. All because I can’t seem to let go of the shit people have done to me & letting my fears control my actions as well as emotions. I find it so hard to grant him the same understanding, patients & love he gives me. Why? because I am holding onto bullshit & don’t know how to just let go.

Guy I am sorry for taking you for granted. I’m sorry for not trusting you the way you trust me. I love you.


I don’t think anyone knows how a relationship is suppose to work or how to be in a relationship in general. You just kinda figure it out along the way with whomever you are with. I feel that there are some things that work for some couples that don’t work for others. Figuring this shit out is such a fuckin headache sometimes.

When I buy something I make sure to get all the use I can out of it.

It’s almost an obsession for me. When I buy things, especially shit I deem expensive, I will try to get every last ounce of use out of it.

I’ve had my office chair & desk for almost 6 years.. the chair fell apart today. My desk is next. Fuck!

My boyfriend likes some of the death metal I listen to