I feel cute today. So I took a few photos but I couldn’t decide which selfie was the best so I decided all of them. YAY!
So I had this done today. I will explain why…
I’ve kept this part of myself very hidden. Even from people closest to me. I don’t want to hide it anymore. I’ve told a few people over the years but I usually kept it to myself & never talked about it. I suffer from bipolar disorder (aka manic depression) as well as panic/anxiety disorder. I’ve been struggling with this for most of my life. It’s been a really tough fight & has only gotten harder. I have moments of happiness but they never last too long. My mood shifts so dramatically without warning. I will often shut down & become very cold to anyone around me. I will stay in a depressed & very reclusive state for weeks at a time never leaving my room & cutting off all communication with people. Even simple things like going out in public, going to a store or being around any number of people will drive me into a panic. I have a constant paranoid & negative outlook on the world. Maintaining any sort of intimate relationship has been really difficult. I have moments that get so unbearable that my mind only displays one option.. suicide. I have attempted to end my life on several occasions. I could go on for days of all the “wrong” things I have going on in my head… But I will stop there.
I just wanted to finally open up about this. It’s gotten pretty bad in my head lately. My strength & will to fight have been low but not completely gone. I am openly letting this out because I hope it helps someone who is going through what I am & lets them know they are not alone. From my experience having at least 1 person give a shit meant the world to me. I am lucky to have the boyfriend that I do. Even though it is difficult he continues to be understanding & do the best he can to help. Same for my friends… especially trae & a few others. Thank you guys for being there.
In closing….this tattoo is a reminder to myself to keep breathing & keep fighting. I will do my best to keep doing both.
That one time (2 months ago) in my entire life my facial hair did the right thing. It’ll never happen again. Sigh.
Q&A #1 - TOP OR BOTTOM?!
Answered some questions I received on tumblr.
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I put my hair down for once. It doesn’t look too bad. At least I think it doesn’t. Oh well.